Long time coming
It has taken me a lot of patience to write this post. Fittingly, it also meant that you as the reader had to be patient for my writing. Sometimes, it takes patience to reflect on patience.
After 'Love', 'Joy' and 'Peace', 'Patience' is next in line as one of the fruits of the Spirit. And boy, it's one of the most rewarding, yet difficult, fruits to achieve. At least I am speaking from personal experience...
Patience is a Virtue
I love finding out the meaning behind words, their etymology. 'Patience' itself is originally derived from the Latin word 'patientia' (*the quality of suffering or enduring). It's also where we get the word 'patient' from.
When you visit the doctor, you're called to wait patiently in the waiting room. After all, you're the patient. In today's world, waiting has become a nuisance - something to avoid at all costs.
We're living in a fast-paced time, where we have become conditioned by an instantaneous consumer culture. Everything you ever want is one click away. Companies like Amazon already offer you 24hr delivery. The world is trying to convince us that patience is no longer a virtue. It's an inconvenience to achieving our personal happiness, satisfaction and/or self-gratification.
We want what we want, and we want it now or never. If we can't have it now, then chances are, that we will be distracted by the next best thing and move on quickly.
I notice this in my own life, when I am on my phone. Engaging in social media has become a struggle, because my attention is drawn from one thing to another within a split second. It affects my thinking and my general focus. And yet, I go back for more. It's a drug, whose negative effects I try to dismiss out of sheer denial. It comes down to this: I no longer know what boredom feels like.
This is a trend that is affecting millions of people - especially the new generation.
If necessity is the mother of invention, then boredom is the father.
Patience can be seen as the enduring quality to wait for something. In terms of boredom, you are offered a space and time in which to process your thoughts and ideas. The more noise is around you, and the more you fix your attention on an exterior stimulant, the more this boredom is suppressed.
When last did you endure a bout of boredom?
No, honestly...think about it! (Maybe you're bored right now, while reading this article.)
I have become so averse to boredom, that I believe it has affected the time I spend with God. Far too often, I am tempted to check my phone rather than being in the moment and giving God my full attention.
Attention itself has become an expensive commodity. The world is fighting for your attention. The saying "to pay attention" has never been more appropriate. Throughout this attention battle, I feel that God is sitting on the side, patiently waiting for us. God doesn't compete for our attention like the world does.
I'm always surprised at the many creative ways in which God manages to speak to me through the clutter of the every day. It is time for us to look up to Him, instead of looking down at our phones. It is time for us to once again see patience as a virtue.
Patience is the Key
Each one of us is waiting for something at any given moment in time.
We are waiting for God's justice to come. We are waiting for unanswered prayers.
Waiting for change. Waiting for the Corona pandemic to end. Waiting to see family and friends again. Waiting for a sign. Waiting for direction. Waiting for a word. Waiting for a baby. Waiting for a new job. Waiting to be paid. Waiting to die.
Our son is two years old and currently really testing our patience. For example, he is very impatient when he is hungry. So much so, you'd think he was starved for a week.
He still has to learn that good things come to those who wait. This isn't always the case, of course.
Waiting in a queue at the supermarket doesn't appear to serve any higher purpose. Waiting in traffic also makes it onto my list of the top three things I absolutely detest. However, the question is: what do you when you're waiting for something?
Do you despair? Or do you rejoice?
I'm very guilty of the former. I think 'patience' is one of the fruits of the Spirit I really wrestle with. And I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Much like my son, I tend to forget that God is my father. His ways are higher and I am called to trust Him. He is the God of time and He's patient with me. It's embarrassing when I think about certain moments in the past where I turned away from God, because He didn't answer me right away. Impatience could have cost me my relationship with Him.
Revelation 3:20 says: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me."
How did you come to Christ? Did you open the door when He knocked?
Looking back, I see how Jesus was patient with me. Jesus didn't only knock once. He had to knock a few times until I let Him in. Like the prodigal son, I returned to the Father when I was ready. But it wasn't my timing. God expected me!
Patience isn't just the key to success. Patience is the key to the other fruits of the Spirit. For it is love that is patient (1 Corinthians 13:4). And in my blog post on 'Love', I wrote that love is the seed of the fruit of the Spirit.
Love toward others can be shown by the amount of patience you have for them. In another Bible verse Paul writes: "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." (Ephesians 4:2)
We are called to bear with one another. In my experience, the verb 'bearing' is closely linked to patience - having to endure the aggravating nature of another person. Love is patient, and the Holy Spirit gives us the patience we need to best love others.
My road rage is a great example that proves how 'love' and 'patience' go hand-in-hand. My lack of patience for another driver on the road hinders my ability to see that driver's value through the eyes of Jesus. No patience, no love...no 'Christ' in my 'Christian'. You just become an 'Ian', as explained in this Rend Collective video. And 'Ian' does absolutely nothing to further the kingdom of God.
Waiting for Rachel
There is this Christian aphorism: 'If God is making you wait, you're in good company.'
The Bible includes many stories about people who showed incredible endurance in waiting. Often, I'm astounded at their willingness to suffer for a greater, future good. There can be an immeasurable amount of pain in waiting for something you hope for. Like I said above: we all wait for something at some point in life. We all learn the hard way. Waiting is never easy!
One of the characters that really boggles my mind is Jacob. In Genesis 29, we read about the deal that Jacob makes with Lot. Jacob asks Lot to marry Rachel - the younger daughter - and Lot accepts. However, the payment is 7 years of labour. After working for Lot for 7 years, Jacob is then clearly 'conned' into sleeping with Leah - the eldest daughter - and in turn forced to marry her.
But Jacob doesn't give up.
He has decided that Rachel is the woman he wants to marry and agrees to work another 7 years for her hand in marriage.
It took Jacob 14 years (!!!) to wait for Rachel. Who in their right mind would wait 14 years today to marry the woman they love? I wonder if I could have waited that long to marry my wife (let alone kiss her).
But times have changed.
Our attitude towards waiting isn't "It's worth the wait"; it's actually "Why wait?".
It's no wonder then, that patience is being attacked for its intrinsic worth in the Christian life. The church cannot afford to reject the lessons learned from waiting. The process itself directs us to seek God and listen to His guiding voice. Our sense of obedience is hopefully also strengthened in the waiting (see the wandering Israelites).
At the end of the Bible, we are commanded to wait and be ready (Revelation 1:7; Rev 6:11). And as it is written in Ecclesiastes 7:8, patience is the antidote to pride. The more proud you are, the more God will teach you patience. In that regard, we would all do well to embrace it sooner rather than later.
While we wait for Jesus to return, it is the fruit of patience that offers us a bittersweet taste of a future with Him. We may have to wait 14 years for the bridegroom to claim His bride; perhaps even more. While we wait, there's plenty for us to prepare here on earth.
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